We had a great week with G'ma. We filled the time with lots of fun activities and still made plenty of time for stories and playing pretend. Part of keeping Caleb together, means still having time for him to escape, to curl up with his 2 best friends- Giant Frog and a book. So we had plenty of time for that.
On G'ma's last day, we had some extra time so we decided to go to the Science Center for the morning. It was a nice way to avoid the heat but it was also very crowded. There were several camps there so we skipped the first two floors and headed up to the top floor to try to avoid the crowds a bit.
It's been awhile since I was last at the science center. It's changed quite a bit and I love the changes. One big change is the addition of a gated area on the top floor for ages 3-6 and their families. This was perfect for us. The camps started with kindergarten age kids and many of them couldn't come in because they didn't have chaperones with them. It was the perfect place for us and many of the other families trying to enjoy the science center.
The area has several climbing spots, a big water table, a place for dress ups and a little book corner and my boy's favorite, at the back is a contraption for moving plastic balls around. A conveyor belt takes them up to a bin at the top of the machine and when the bin gets too full, a whistle sounds and the balls drop down on whoever is underneath. I think just about every kid there loved that part. And my boy was right with them.
It was here that it hit me again- my boy is different. My boy has asperger's.
Caleb was eagerly loading the conveyor belt with balls or turning the wheel to take them up to the bin. He was so happy. A group of 6 yr olds convinced their chaperone to bring them into the area too. They quickly came back to this contraption (how could you resist?!). Caleb wasn't bothered by more kids and they didn't seem bothered by him. The whistle sounded, the balls dropped and it all began again with dozens of squeals and giggles. I kept watching Caleb and I noticed some boys working with him. They had their ages on their name badges- K-1. These were Caleb's peers. Caleb will be 6 in a little over a month. And as I watched him and them, he was bouncing and giggling and flapping. It was a bittersweet moment. I was thrilled to see him so happy, having such a great time. How can you not feel that joy when you see it on your child's face? And yet, seeing side by side the difference between my boy and these other children...
It's a reality. Fortunately, it's not a hopeless reality. He's going to keep growing and keep learning how to fit in this crazy world. He'll become more like these other kids, with a little extra help but at the same time, I truly hope that he doesn't lose that freedom to express his happiness. As a supremely self-conscious individual, I love that both my kids are so confident and willing to express themselves without reservation. I envy that freedom. I want Caleb to learn but not lose himself in all these treatments and therapies. Hopefully there will be a balance.
After awhile, he grew tired of the balls and ready to explore more things. I thought he might appreciate a reading break after being with all those kids for so long. I led him over the the book area and my boy casually glanced at the books but before I could take a seat to read with him, he had turned around and was making his way back to the water table?!?!! Of all things! He went to the water table, put on an apron and proceeded to get busy in the water. Who was this kid? G'ma was just as surprised as I was. This is the boy who still insists on changing his outfit if even the smallest drop of liquid lands on him. How many trips to the Children's Museum where we couldn't even consider going up to the water floor? And to turn down books in favor of getting wet?
My boy is growing. My boy is learning. My boy is getting a handle on his quirks and having an easier time playing.
Caleb spent a good 15 minutes playing in the water. He didn't even bat an eye when he got sprayed in the face by one of the other kids. He didn't complain that there were wet spots on his shirt and shorts. And at the end, we didn't spend any time at all with the books.
It was a good day and a great visit! Thank you G'ma for coming out to play :-)
Showing posts with label aspergers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aspergers. Show all posts
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Still in Holland: Part One
Yes, we're still in Holland. Many of you might say, "What?!?!" and if that's you, please click on the link and read. I really enjoyed that piece, the first time that I came across it.
We've been in Holland for some time now and maybe it's that it's becoming more familiar, or maybe it's becoming more like where we prepared to go but this week, I saw several reminders that we're still in Holland or that my son still has Asperger's.
I do quickly admit that I feel very blessed. With such a wide range of symptoms and abilities, I'm thankful that my boy is where he is. I'm thankful that he has a great team helping him, that we have great family and friends who understand and support us. I'm thankful for the huge progress that he's made in just this short year of treatment. I'm thankful that he's eager to go to school and that (so far) we have a school district willing to accommodate him and work with us to encourage his success. I'm thankful that I don't have some of the worries that other parents have.
I spend a lot of time reading their stories, other experiences with ASD and I am again and again amazed at the strength and dedication these families have. And then there are times when I'm reading and thinking of my boy and part of me says, "This isn't him. This diagnosis isn't real." I convince myself that he's just quirky and sometimes (but don't tell) I feel like I'm waiting for someone to say, "wait, he doesn't have that. He doesn't need all these treatments."
And then, we go out into the world and I see him with others his age and it hits me, sometimes hard and sometimes painful.
This week, I was hit twice. The first time didn't hurt too much because of the joy in my little guy's face. With G'ma here for the week, we decided to spend a day at Idlewild Park in Ligonier. This is a great park for kids and families and worth the trip if you're ever in Western PA.
It was a great day (hot but still fun) and it happened to be Super Hero Week for the park. Spiderman, The Hulk, Iron Man and Captain America were all going to be there, signing autographs and posing for pictures. Even thought my boy lives for his superheroes (and I'm convinced that Caleb Corporations has evolved from Tony Stark) Caleb actually didn't seem too eager so we took our time getting through the park and then we made it over to the stage shortly before the first set of superheroes were done. Of course, there was a decently long line stretching out into the hot sun of people waiting to get their autographs. We were already pretty hot and I had flashbacks from March and standing in line with Sadie to meet Ariel and Prince Eric on our Disney trip. I really didn't want to relive that experience. Caleb seemed content to go watch the characters from the audience with G'ma so I took Sadie on the ferris wheel. We got on the ride and the superheroes wrapped up. Then, from the top of the wheel, I could hear my boy and the tantrum began. I tried to relax- for many reasons, mostly that leaning forward in our little cart caused it to shake and rock and while I'm not completely scared of heights, in situations like this my very active imagination quickly plays out scenarios of me and my daughter falling to our deaths. So I sat back and strongly encouraged Sadie to sit back and not look for her brother. Of course, I knew G'ma could handle him. I couldn't ask for a better prepared G'ma for Caleb. She's a first grade teacher for many years and happens to have a ton of experience with kids like Caleb. She's often my go to person for advice and strategies for handling him. No problem. Plus, I thought to myself, he hasn't had a real tantrum in months and certainly not out in public. Again, I tried to relax and again, I could still hear my boy losing it. And worse, from our vantage point, I could see the people turning and staring. I swear I could hear their thoughts- I used to be there, the person watching the kid who is way too old having a tantrum. Sadly, I admit it, I was also the one thinking why can't the parents control their kid. I've since learned my lesson.
I wanted to yell for the ride operators to let us off. My mama bear instincts kicked in and I desperately wanted to be there to calm him down and sort things out. Again, not that I didn't trust my mom-in-law. I knew G'ma was doing her best with him. I knew she had an extra difficult situation- a hot, tired, cranky and disappointed boy is not always easy to calm down.
He continued to cry and scream in waves while Sadie and I went round and round and waited as they unloaded the wheel. It seemed to take forever. It was the longest he's carried on like this in ages and it felt like the longest I had ever been stuck on a ferris wheel.
He was still very upset when they let us off and I pulled Sadie over to the bench. I left her with G'ma and grabbed Caleb, still crying, and pulled him away to try to find some place more private. We headed for the bathroom and he settled a little while I put cool water on his hands and face. Then we found a quiet bench to sit and talk about how to solve this problem that made him so upset. All and all, he calmed down pretty easily and apologized to G'ma for carrying on like that.
Then mama stood in line with her boy to wait to meet Captain America and Iron Man.
Once again, all was right in Caleb's world and despite the tantrum, mommy couldn't resist picking up a Captain American doll for the boy to get autographed. (and just so you know, I was not rewarding the tantrum. that's not how it works with these kids. he didn't even ask for the doll and would have been perfectly fine going up to see the characters without it) He stood in line for over an hour, not even taking a break to go for a ride on the carousel. He was determined to not miss his heroes and the boy didn't even complain about the heat.
After getting our autographs and pictures, the boy needed some sensory time so we headed back the ball pit at Jumpin' Jungle. This is my boy's happy place. Feeling all the balls in the ball pit is perfect for him and all his sensory seeking. Not to mention, it was raining off and on and G'ma and I were enjoying the idea of sitting for a bit too.
After the ball pit, it was a climb up the cargo net. Then Sadie and G'ma hung out at the zip line, while Caleb and I went into the Jungle Catch. It's a little netted area with a bunch of air jets and plastic balls that you can set up to float on them. Caleb gets quite a kick out of this place and within minutes he was bouncing and giggling hysterically. Then he started putting his face over the jets and letting his hair stick straight up. I snapped pictures, eager to record the joy on his face and that's what it was, pure joy. My heart melted and then I glanced around at the other kids in there and I noticed it. For the first time I really saw it. He was bouncing and giggling and up on his tiptoes and flapping. Not bad things but things that you see in kids with ASD. But he smiled at me and I forgot all about it. He was happy and that's all that mattered.
We've been in Holland for some time now and maybe it's that it's becoming more familiar, or maybe it's becoming more like where we prepared to go but this week, I saw several reminders that we're still in Holland or that my son still has Asperger's.
I do quickly admit that I feel very blessed. With such a wide range of symptoms and abilities, I'm thankful that my boy is where he is. I'm thankful that he has a great team helping him, that we have great family and friends who understand and support us. I'm thankful for the huge progress that he's made in just this short year of treatment. I'm thankful that he's eager to go to school and that (so far) we have a school district willing to accommodate him and work with us to encourage his success. I'm thankful that I don't have some of the worries that other parents have.
I spend a lot of time reading their stories, other experiences with ASD and I am again and again amazed at the strength and dedication these families have. And then there are times when I'm reading and thinking of my boy and part of me says, "This isn't him. This diagnosis isn't real." I convince myself that he's just quirky and sometimes (but don't tell) I feel like I'm waiting for someone to say, "wait, he doesn't have that. He doesn't need all these treatments."
And then, we go out into the world and I see him with others his age and it hits me, sometimes hard and sometimes painful.
This week, I was hit twice. The first time didn't hurt too much because of the joy in my little guy's face. With G'ma here for the week, we decided to spend a day at Idlewild Park in Ligonier. This is a great park for kids and families and worth the trip if you're ever in Western PA.
It was a great day (hot but still fun) and it happened to be Super Hero Week for the park. Spiderman, The Hulk, Iron Man and Captain America were all going to be there, signing autographs and posing for pictures. Even thought my boy lives for his superheroes (and I'm convinced that Caleb Corporations has evolved from Tony Stark) Caleb actually didn't seem too eager so we took our time getting through the park and then we made it over to the stage shortly before the first set of superheroes were done. Of course, there was a decently long line stretching out into the hot sun of people waiting to get their autographs. We were already pretty hot and I had flashbacks from March and standing in line with Sadie to meet Ariel and Prince Eric on our Disney trip. I really didn't want to relive that experience. Caleb seemed content to go watch the characters from the audience with G'ma so I took Sadie on the ferris wheel. We got on the ride and the superheroes wrapped up. Then, from the top of the wheel, I could hear my boy and the tantrum began. I tried to relax- for many reasons, mostly that leaning forward in our little cart caused it to shake and rock and while I'm not completely scared of heights, in situations like this my very active imagination quickly plays out scenarios of me and my daughter falling to our deaths. So I sat back and strongly encouraged Sadie to sit back and not look for her brother. Of course, I knew G'ma could handle him. I couldn't ask for a better prepared G'ma for Caleb. She's a first grade teacher for many years and happens to have a ton of experience with kids like Caleb. She's often my go to person for advice and strategies for handling him. No problem. Plus, I thought to myself, he hasn't had a real tantrum in months and certainly not out in public. Again, I tried to relax and again, I could still hear my boy losing it. And worse, from our vantage point, I could see the people turning and staring. I swear I could hear their thoughts- I used to be there, the person watching the kid who is way too old having a tantrum. Sadly, I admit it, I was also the one thinking why can't the parents control their kid. I've since learned my lesson.
I wanted to yell for the ride operators to let us off. My mama bear instincts kicked in and I desperately wanted to be there to calm him down and sort things out. Again, not that I didn't trust my mom-in-law. I knew G'ma was doing her best with him. I knew she had an extra difficult situation- a hot, tired, cranky and disappointed boy is not always easy to calm down.
He continued to cry and scream in waves while Sadie and I went round and round and waited as they unloaded the wheel. It seemed to take forever. It was the longest he's carried on like this in ages and it felt like the longest I had ever been stuck on a ferris wheel.
He was still very upset when they let us off and I pulled Sadie over to the bench. I left her with G'ma and grabbed Caleb, still crying, and pulled him away to try to find some place more private. We headed for the bathroom and he settled a little while I put cool water on his hands and face. Then we found a quiet bench to sit and talk about how to solve this problem that made him so upset. All and all, he calmed down pretty easily and apologized to G'ma for carrying on like that.
Then mama stood in line with her boy to wait to meet Captain America and Iron Man.
Once again, all was right in Caleb's world and despite the tantrum, mommy couldn't resist picking up a Captain American doll for the boy to get autographed. (and just so you know, I was not rewarding the tantrum. that's not how it works with these kids. he didn't even ask for the doll and would have been perfectly fine going up to see the characters without it) He stood in line for over an hour, not even taking a break to go for a ride on the carousel. He was determined to not miss his heroes and the boy didn't even complain about the heat.
After getting our autographs and pictures, the boy needed some sensory time so we headed back the ball pit at Jumpin' Jungle. This is my boy's happy place. Feeling all the balls in the ball pit is perfect for him and all his sensory seeking. Not to mention, it was raining off and on and G'ma and I were enjoying the idea of sitting for a bit too.
After the ball pit, it was a climb up the cargo net. Then Sadie and G'ma hung out at the zip line, while Caleb and I went into the Jungle Catch. It's a little netted area with a bunch of air jets and plastic balls that you can set up to float on them. Caleb gets quite a kick out of this place and within minutes he was bouncing and giggling hysterically. Then he started putting his face over the jets and letting his hair stick straight up. I snapped pictures, eager to record the joy on his face and that's what it was, pure joy. My heart melted and then I glanced around at the other kids in there and I noticed it. For the first time I really saw it. He was bouncing and giggling and up on his tiptoes and flapping. Not bad things but things that you see in kids with ASD. But he smiled at me and I forgot all about it. He was happy and that's all that mattered.
Monday, January 17, 2011
questions....
Here's my question... how do you explain heaven and being part of God's family to a 5 yr old who doesn't like change?
We have a great church. We have a great church with a great children's ministry and Miss Sherry is absolutely wonderful with the kids. Yesterday was Sadie's first time as a 4 yr old in the 4 yr old class for children's church. This class is in the big room and i think the ages are 4-7 yrs old. It was a big change but she seemed to do well, especially since she could sit next to her brother.
We didn't hear much about the morning until dinner time last night. Then Caleb started telling us about Nicodemus. Then Sadie gave her very good explanation for being born again in her most serious voice "Jesus had to come and save us from our sins." And Caleb added that Granny was born again but she didn't become a baby again. I was very excited to see our kids working through this and eager to see where it went.
Knowing that my husband became Christian as a child, I prompted "Hey guys, you know, Daddy is born again?" And he explained to the kids how he prayed with his mommy and daddy when he was little to be able to go to heaven.
So there it was, we had talked about being born again, about being in God's family, about going to heaven. Were the kids ready to pray? I asked "Do you think you want to go to heaven?" Sadie very quickly nodded and said "yes, sure do." I looked at Caleb "I don't think so."
Then we realized, this boy will resist going to Disney World just because it's different and unfamiliar. It doesn't matter how great heaven is, he's not going to want to go. So how do we explain this to him? I found it to be a funny turn of events. I'm confident that God knows his heart and therefore knows his struggles so I'm not too worried that we didn't pray last night. I think it will be interesting to watch how God moves in his heart to help him understand these things.
We have a great church. We have a great church with a great children's ministry and Miss Sherry is absolutely wonderful with the kids. Yesterday was Sadie's first time as a 4 yr old in the 4 yr old class for children's church. This class is in the big room and i think the ages are 4-7 yrs old. It was a big change but she seemed to do well, especially since she could sit next to her brother.
We didn't hear much about the morning until dinner time last night. Then Caleb started telling us about Nicodemus. Then Sadie gave her very good explanation for being born again in her most serious voice "Jesus had to come and save us from our sins." And Caleb added that Granny was born again but she didn't become a baby again. I was very excited to see our kids working through this and eager to see where it went.
Knowing that my husband became Christian as a child, I prompted "Hey guys, you know, Daddy is born again?" And he explained to the kids how he prayed with his mommy and daddy when he was little to be able to go to heaven.
So there it was, we had talked about being born again, about being in God's family, about going to heaven. Were the kids ready to pray? I asked "Do you think you want to go to heaven?" Sadie very quickly nodded and said "yes, sure do." I looked at Caleb "I don't think so."
Then we realized, this boy will resist going to Disney World just because it's different and unfamiliar. It doesn't matter how great heaven is, he's not going to want to go. So how do we explain this to him? I found it to be a funny turn of events. I'm confident that God knows his heart and therefore knows his struggles so I'm not too worried that we didn't pray last night. I think it will be interesting to watch how God moves in his heart to help him understand these things.
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